You sit down to write, but your heart is heavy. Maybe something happened and you’re feeling hurt, alone, frustrated, or scared. Maybe something unraveled that you thought would last. Or maybe you’re in a spot where the voices in your head just aren’t being nice to you. In a way it doesn’t matter what has brought you to this moment, stressed, worried, and when it comes to putting word on the page, completely unable to do so. The reasons are varied. The neurological and emotional reasons underpinning what some might call writer’s block, differ from person to person. But there is one thing that will help in this moment.
RAIN
Not the type that falls from the sky, or the euphemism people use to describe making money. Rather, a self-inquiry practice described by Tara Brach in her book Radical Acceptance. This practice has four parts and can be done anytime, anywhere. It doesn’t need any specific equipment, and all you need is the openness, and the willingness, to try this practice.
The 4 Steps
Recognize
The first step is to recognize what you’re feeling and experiencing in the moment. This is where you might say “I feel hurt about (name situation” or “My self-talk is preventing me from writing”. There is nothing wrong with naming what you’re feeling, and even if it isn’t something you want to be feeling, there’s also nothing negative or wrong about feeling that way. RAIN goes hand-in-hand with self-acceptance that we talked about in last week’s blog.
Allow
Allowing simply means allowing yourself to feel whatever you are feeling. It is okay not to be okay as the saying goes, but it’s also something else to say it and then to actually do it. Know that you are not the feeling; your self-worth is not set by how “positive” or “negative” you’re being, and just so we’re clear, no, you’re not “ruining your mindset” by acknowledging and allowing what you’re feeling. It’s a moment. It will pass.
Inquire
To help the moment pass, inquire and ask yourself “what do I need in this moment?”. You may find that what you need is something you can’t get because you’re relying on another person. (I really need an apology, for example.) You cannot force another person to give you what you need, and it’s important that we think about how we can help ourselves in light of the fact that we may not get what we need from others.
If the answer comes up that comes from someone else and you cannot tell that person (or group) what you need, then revise your question. What can I do for myself in this moment that will help? Again, do not judge what comes up. It might be some ice cream or a treat. It might be to curl up with a book and ignore the situation for a while. Or it may be to move onto another project or simply acknowledging those feelings and writing anyway.
Whatever answer you choose, make sure that it WILL help and that you’re not forcing yourself to “push through it”.
Nurture
Nurturing is the step we take when we do what will help. This is an important step because it is the culmination of allowing and radical self-acceptance. It seals into our body that we accept whatever we’re feeling and are working to make ourselves feel better.
I find a RAIN practice helps me write when for some reason the words aren’t flowing, and it helps me feel better about my books and writing. RAIN can be a powerful tool in many cases, not just author or writing related. And I encourage you to try this out.
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